When I "felt like " God wasn't there!
Sometimes in life we get deterred from our rightful path along the journey. This is definitely not uncommon, but when you start to drift further away than you have in previous years it can become very scary. I had been feeling like there was distance growing between me and God, but I didn’t do much about it. I was making time for God, but not treating him like a necessity. I was being lured down a path led by the flesh although in my mind I was remembering that “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (KJV,Ephesians 6:12).
One day I was sitting in my room and talking to God and I was waiting to feel him or hear him or something that felt like him. All the while, I couldn’t hear him or feel him. I literally felt completely alone. I felt the enemy saying he is not with you. You have been straying away from him, so you won’t hear him. I couldn’t allow my mind to sit idle because I know that idle mind is the devil’s playground. I had to remember my father’s word. I had bring and use my sword to the fight; ”and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (NLT, Ephesians 6:17). I immediately remembered that God is always there even when we feel like we are lost in the forest with no one around. The enemy wants us to feel like God isn’t hearing us, as if we are by ourselves. But, God is our hiding place. He is our refuge and our shelter and our strength. God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.“ NLT, Psalm 46:1). And, oh boy! I was in trouble!
Even though I realized this was an attack of the enemy, I knew that still couldn’t hear God. I didn’t let that stop me from talking to him. Clearly he had been talking to me for a while and I was just going on my merry way. So, now it was my turn to talk to him. I continued to converse with God and knew that I needed to immerse myself in him through praise and worship and by reading his word because I was being thrown off kilter.
God is always speaking it’s just a matter of if we truly are ready to hear him and if we are ready to listen. Not being able to hear him was the right amount of warning I needed to get me back on my rightful path. We will always be tested in life, but having the wisdom to know when enough is enough is the challenge, but it can be the best challenge ever! That minor or major storm can bring renew to your life like never before.
For the next few weeks I ran to God like there was no other choice, lol, because there was no other choice. As I got closer to him, he blessed me by breathing on me! He let me and the Holy Spirit have a deep conversation. He blessed me with feeling him internally and externally. How can I not want to have him as a necessity after that encounter? Now, don’t think my storms and challenges are over because they are expected, but I know that I want to treat God as a necessity. Because he is a necessity. He is life and breath! “He himself gives everyone life, breath, and everything else” (ISV, Acts 17:25).
Light Reminder that God is a necessity and he will remind us how much of a necessity he is when we cant figure it out on our own. He is our help and will save us from ourselves.
Ashari Wallace a.k.a Q33n
Thank you Lord for using me!